As-Salaamu-Alaikum, One of the reasons why I started this blog was to record our MashaAllah moments. The moments with the kids that make it all worthwhile. I feel so blessed to have been given this special opportunity by Allah (God). And it slips by so fast. You blink and it is gone.
I can’t believe that my oldest is going to be 4 in two weeks and my baby is already 2!!! Where did the time go? Things I said I would never forget are already fading as they are replaced my new memories I say I’ll never forget. The first time I held Saffiyah in the hospital. Her first real smile, the first time she called me mommy. The first time she met me at the window when I returned from work. She told me recently, “I love you mommy, you the best mommy in the whole world!” Said with such enthusiasm and sincerity that I hope I never forget. Even when she inevitably does…
Ali, came to me one day, he came running to me in the kitchen and said Mama – I love you! And then he ran away. This was so sweet because he was just learning to talk and I would kiss him and say “I love you, Ali.” then I would wait and say “You love mommy, say I love you mommy” but he never would. This continued for about two weeks then suddenly one day there it was. He ran as if he suddenly realized what it meant and he just had to tell me! MashaAllah these are the moments that make motherhood possible
My darling Ali. He is my precious, my sweetheart, my baby, my love. He is also two and is not weaned! I seriously thought about making him go cold turkey when he turned two on Jan 24th. But I decided against it because I thought it would be cruel. After all he doesn’t know that he’s been at this way WAY too long. I have been told; just try cutting out one feeding a day. That didn’t work because he would give it up and then when I was working on another feeding at a different time he returned to the old feeding.
I know people will say I need to be firm, after all he can’t force himself on me. But we are talking about a child who chases me through the house yelling “SIT!” Crying and screaming for his milk. I mean MY milk. I guess I just don’t have enough back bone to shut him off completely. The problem is not so much the temper tantrums he has when he can’t get it; but what slays me every time is the hurt puppy look in his eyes when he is denied. He looks as if I have just put him out in the cold and told him to never come back.
What to do, what to do? I’ve tried all kinds of milkshakes, ice creams and snacks that he enjoys to divert him away….but at the end of the day he always comes back. It does work if we spend our day out away from the house but at night…fughettaboutit! I’m at my wits (and breasts) end. Is there any compassionate and easy way to wean him or am I just going to have to live with the betrayal and wrath he will launch at me until it’s over? Ya Allah(Oh my God) …I hope not.
I can’t tell you the joy I feel at being a mommy. I came to motherhood late in life so for me I felt doubly blessed. (Al-Hamdulillah -Praise be to God) Just a couple of years before my daughter was born I was advised by several doctors to have a complete hysterectomy and was told in no uncertain terms that I was too old, and because of medical problems too unhealthy to ever carry a baby to term. (I will explain more about this later – in a special series I will title “flashbacks-) But I put my faith in Allah (God) and two years later my daughter was born, healthy, naturally and with no problems. And all the praise goes to Allah, who I know makes ALL THINGS POSSIBLE.
Possible but not always easy:) It has been a humbling,thrilling, funny, frustrating, touching, crazy, wondrous, fulfilling, exasperating, learning experience that I can’t believe I am still just in the beginning stages of completing. Wait, did I say complete?! No way, it will never be complete…I’ll always be mommy. Just as my mom is, this experience has made me value and appreciate her and all mothers so much. So I’m starting this blog to share this wonderful journey and also to meet others on the same path. Share with you, learn from you, and hopefully we can help each other to raise children who will please Allah, contribute to this Ummah (Muslim community) and to all of society as well. May Allah bless with the tawfiq (ability to do a job well) to be good Muslim Mommies!